Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

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A Bit Like a Brick in Yer Trousers

February 7, 2010

Photo By Cecilia Ferreira Courtesy of MyArtSpace.com

Its been two months since our first entry about Sophie’s new little friend, the CB6000.  During that time, I’ve seen a noticeable difference in Sophie’s behavouir and attitude when she’s in or out of the belt.  I just wanted to take a few moments to talk about some of these behaviours and speak to my over all thoughts of her chastity and about this device in particular.

As I’ve stated before, Sophie is a very good girl.  She never gives me any trouble and her constant thoughts are of how to please me with every action.  Truly I’m an extremely lucky woman to have such an amazing service submissive in my care.  And as I’ve also said, with the application of the CB600 device Sophie’s already demure personality becomes even more subservient and yielding as it reminds her, with every movement, who holds the key to her happiness.  As the weeks have passed, and her freedom is dictated by my whims, Sophie’s actions and behaviours began to flex and reflect my dictation.  Sometimes in expected ways and sometimes in surprising ways.  Over all I have to say chastity is a good thing for Sophie, but I am not sure it is an arrangement that will be a permanent fixture in our life.

We have an interesting relationship, Sophie and I.  We aren’t just Dominant and submissive; we are equal partners in our day to day lives as well.  I have no desire to have a TPE (Total Power Exchange) arrangement with her, and she has no desire to live in constant servitude to me.  We made it a point to mould and shape our ‘nilla life first before we ventured into a deep D/s relationship.  Doing as such was best for us; we are in this relationship for the long haul.  So with that being the case,  it stands to reason that being in constant chastity would not prove beneficial to us.   The meaning behind the confinement would soon be lost and resented by Sophie if she were constantly made to wear her belt, so I have found giving her some time off for good behaviour occasionally is best for her and ultimately for our relationship.

Another reason I allow for the occasional reprieve is because I don’t want Sophie’s belt to become a crutch in our relationship.  Often such devices can be hidden behind and used as masks for untold issues.  It is easy for Sophie and I to fall into a non-sexual pattern because of personal hang-ups, so if we relied upon the belt as a way to hide those issues, it would only prove to quicken the resentment of confinement and eventually destroy our relationship.  So, it is important to us to remember that Sophie’s chastity is simply a fun tool to play with and not relied on as a relationship stabilizer.

To the device itself: it works… in a pinch, but only just.  While I am fully aware the makers of the CB6000 are improving the design and security of their belts with each new model, I am not satisfied with this device’s construction.  It does the job of keeping Sophie in check, but that’s where its usefulness ends.  There is no way on earth I could, in good consciousness, allow Sophie to wear this particular belt for longer than 3 weeks at a time.  With just one week’s use, the smell wafting from the belt can knock you down and will instantly put anyone in the mood for hot love out of it with just one whiff.  We’ve tried everything to keep her and the device clean without removing it, but nothing works.  I’m not sure if her girth is an issue, but I’m sure it doesn’t help matters, either.  She is a ‘big girl’, and its sometimes a chore to fit everything inside the casing, which, I am sure, is part of the reason it is so hard to keep her clean while wearing it.  Have you ever tried to clean a sausage inside its casing without removing it first?  Impossible.

Also, the CB600 is not a solid moulded piece of plastic.  Bad form, y’all.  Really, really bad form.  I was deeply disappointed by this fact when we first got the belt and eventually completely enraged when, one day, the belt broke right down the joint during a particularly hot and heavy petting session.  Nothing can piss me off more than a spoiled scene, so kudos to you -CB6000- for achieving that heinous feat.  It was a scary situation to be in; Sophie trapped with a quickly deflating hard-on inside a broken chastity belt that could have easily torn into her flesh as we tried to remove it.  Thank God we were able to get it off with no injuries, and we were able to super bond the belt back together at the seam to make it “usable” again, but such a defect should never be possible in the first place.  Even if the device has to be moulded in two halves, there needs to be a better, more safe and secure way of bonding the two halves.  The makers of the CB series had better get on the ball with this.  What are they gonna do when one of their belts causes serious injury to a user?  Smells like a law suit to me.

With all this said, at some point I am going to have Sophie fitted for a custom steel cage.  There are just too many issues that have turned me off of the CB line and it has all convinced me that a custom belt is the only way to go for her.  Such a device will allow for longer wear, if I desire it, will be easier to clean and will not hold residual odors like the CB6000.  Also, with welded and soldered parts, I don’t think we’ll ever have to worry about a steel cage popping apart at the seams when I feel like being frisky.  This is most definitely a case of “you get what you pay for”, and I don’t pay for ANYONE to hurt Sophie.  That’s my job, you ninnys.

All in all, though, we will keep playing with chastity– not only physically, but mental chastity as well.  Stay tuned, kink fans!

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Get Over It

January 25, 2010

I am a typical woman in many ways, but for the most part I am completely atypical to what most people consider feminine now days.  I can do a lot of things most women would shy away from for fear of breaking a nail and look really fucking good doing it, too.  I can change a tire, tune up my own car, build or put together most anything so long as the directions aren’t in Chinese and I can drive a car in ways that would remind you of that really killer Mini Cooper scene from the Italian Job.  I can trail hike with little trace, read a topographical map, build my own lean-to for shelter, find my way through 500 miles of the Appalachian Trail and make a mean meal at the end of it all over an open fire.  I can bake and frost a cake from scratch, construct baklava that will make you wanna slap yourself, cook most anything you want all while entertaining a two year old who demands most every second of his nanny’s time.  Loads of people can do some of these things, but I like to fancy myself a unique sorta gal because of the combination of things I can do.  But even I have moments of sheer and complete, cage rattling deflation.  So instead of letting my momentary ego rupture keep me down, I’m here to shove myself into the spot-light to show everyone even the best of us have moments of weakness.  So get over it, ya know?

Last week I bought a really cute, super classy-with-a-touch-of-sexy dress.  It was my intention to wear this dress out with Sophie for our date on Saturday.  It is always my intention to be sophisticated, classy and beautiful when I am with Sophie.  I always want to mirror her beauty– reflect her elegance because she deserves to be with and be seen with an equally elegant and attractive mate.  I was so excited when I came home to find my new dress had been delivered that I couldn’t hardly wait to put it on to see how it fit.  However, much to my dismay and horror, the gorgeous dress doesn’t fit.  I look like an over stuffed sausage pouring out of a really tight casing.  The moment I saw myself in the mirror I thought of Olivia Dukakis’s famous line in Steel Magnolias; “[She] looks like two pigs fightin’ under a blanket.”  My heart broke.  It’s still a little sore as I write this.

Now, I have resigned myself to the fact that I am no longer a size 4.  Hell, I don’t ever want to BE a size four ever again.  My life was a living nightmare when I weighed less than 120 pounds and I never want to be a rail ever again.  I like being an hour glass woman.  I like having curves and body lines more similar to a fine Italian race car than a pencil.  I’m completely secure in my 133 pounds, but I have moments –moments like these– when I feel like a sow’s ear.  I can’t return or exchange the dress because it was on sale and I have no time this week to spend in finding a suitable replacement.  Sure I have plenty of amazing clothes I can wear instead, but I wanted something special –new– for this occasion.  Even though Sophie and I already celebrated our anniversary in November, this particular weekend marks the very week I realized that I am in love with her– that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this most wonderful and gorgeous creature.  I wanted something spectacular to wear to mark the occasion… even if she didn’t know why.  I wanted a new dress to feel sexy in for her and for me… and at this very moment I am closer to tears than I am to elation.

I just feel sick.

But I need to get over it.  So, pardon my ramblings.